How to Help a Distracted Child
Dear Sharon,
How can a parent know the difference between a child who has a learning difficulty and a child who is just distracted? It seems that we hear so much now about kids having various “issues”. If my 6 1/2 year old son isn’t concentrating on his schoolwork does that mean he might have an issue we should be addressing? Should he be tested? He doesn’t seem at all interested in the learning process and is “video game” addicted.
Your question is on the minds of many parents today. Unfortunately I can’t answer your individual question but I can share some general ideas that I hope will be helpful.
When a parent is worried about their child it is often best to share those concerns with people they trust and respect.
Teachers and other school professionals who have worked with or observed children in their care can be very reassuring and/or make useful recommendations. They might offer suggestions of things to try at home, explain that they are not concerned, or give examples of successes or progress that a parent might appreciate hearing. They can also let parents know if tests or an evaluation might be helpful in determining what educational tools or settings could be most supportive to individual children. If school personnel are considering an evaluation I often suggest that parents ask questions about the information testing might provide, i.e. the services a child would be eligible to receive or specific teaching methods and/or resources that might be made available in or outside of school. Knowing more about the entire evaluation process can help parents feel more at ease.
Pediatricians or other trusted health care professionals who have known a child over time can also be helpful in answering a parent’s questions and/or making similar recommendations.
Reaching out to other parents who have had school age children can be invaluable. When parents talk to each other they usually hear stories about children who have confronted similar challenges. It is often helpful to feel less alone when thinking about difficult topics such as being distracted in school, but there also might be a wealth of information about things that other parents have found helpful in this and many other situations. Parents can talk to others informally or look for workshops or support groups that meet in their neighborhood. Www.achiildgrowsinbrooklyn.com is just one of many internet sites that list parent resources.
I believe that lots children go through phases of being distracted and/or disinterested in school. It is important to remember that a child’s relationship to schoolwork can change from one grade to the next. Sometimes children become more confident or focused as they grow older, sometimes a new teacher can make a big difference. The beginning of a school year might produce a teacher who enjoys the challenge of engaging distracted little ones or simply gets “a kick” out a particular kind of student. This can make a world of difference in a child’s ability to concentrate on even difficult or “boring” material.
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Interest in video games is also common. A sheet of math problems or a book that is challenging to read often feels overwhelming when compared to the excitement and success easily attainable in a video game. I often suggest that parents spend some time watching or playing video games with their children. It can help young ones feel less alone and more engaged. Distraction in school can be a sign of disengagement.
Many Moms and Dads also successfully limit video game time. When doing so I recommend that they replace video screens with interactive games that parents and children can play together. Ball, board, card, craft, and even cooking activities often expose children to forms of involvement and focus that can then show up in school. Laughing, being physically active and/or enjoying each other’s company can also help lighten a child’s mood. It is usually easier for children (and adults) to focus on challenging things after they have enjoyed the company of people they love.
Children who are distracted in school sometimes feel discouraged or unsuccessful in the academic arena. Helping a child with homework in an easy and supportive manner or getting a tutor or teenage homework helper to stop by and talk about schoolwork can also make a difference.
Parents I know have also found it helpful to visit or volunteer in their child’s classroom. It has given them a better understanding of the different factors involved in their child’s relationship to school. It can also generate ideas to broaden the teacher’s and/or child’s understanding of what might be helpful.
Thanks for asking this important question and good luck with the school year ahead!
My child Jordan studying in VII std is very distractive from his childhood. He also behaves childish most of the time. I thought he shall change as year grows. He is good at studies but all his teachers complain he does not concentrate on what is being taught or told, they have to repeatively call him for his attention . They say he is most of the time in his own world. At home also it is the same. Otherwise he is a very loving and mannerred child.
Sangita, Thanks for writing in about Jordan, I am sorry to hear he is distracted at home and at school. I believe that a parent’s calm and consistent presence can make a difference, sometimes engaging a child in interesting and interactive tasks gradually over time can help increase a young one’s ability to focus. I have often seen patient and persistent efforts from parents make a big difference. Best wishes.
My son Muhammad, is studying in Grade 3 now. Till last class, esp. in Grade 2, I kept on receiving complain that he does not complete his class work. He also shows resistance at home in completing his homework, but with some help he does it.
My concern is his class work. I told him to bring his science notebook and a class mate note book to check how much he has completed and I found that he has not completed 40% of what was written on white board. He in class gets busy with other things rather than focusing on what teacher is saying, in copying what is written on white board. Initially I thought he might be having issues with his English as it is not our first language. We told him to read 1 page of story and write it. We brought him to write almost a single page of notebook in 15 mints and we are consistently working with him to increase his speed, but what to do with not focusing in class. Can you advise how can we help him to focus on his work in class?
Thanks for your comments. I wish for him and you that his ability to focus would move quickly but I find that patience, persistence and small steps bring gradual improvements that add up to success over time. It sounds like you have found some good steps that have been helpful. It is important to stay kind and praise even his slight accomplishments while you are encouraging him and finding ways to gradually improve his focus. You might ask the teacher for suggestions as well. Sometimes “playing school” at home where he is the teacher and you are student can also help ease the tension he might feel and help him see why it is a good idea to pay attention in class. Thanks for all of your efforts in his direction.
Hi
I need help “how to help a distracted child”. My daughter is in 5 th grade and i hear almost everytime from her teacher that during classroom discussion she talking and distracting other or fussing around. She’s good in study and always finish all assignments no complaint but why this behavior at school. she knows her teacher very well since 2nd grade. please help
I am glad to hear that your daughter is doing well in school on many levels. Unfortunately it is common for some children to get “fussy” during group discussions. If possible I would recommend that you talk to her about what she is thinking during these times. In order to have your talk with her go well it will be important to listen to what she says and not get upset or disappointed in her. If you can accomplish this very difficult parental task you both then might be able to figure out ways to “settle down” during group discussions that would be less disruptive to the class. Good luck with a common but difficult challenge.
thanks Sharon.
My daughter which is 4 gets easily distracted. I’ve tried teaching her the colors and numbers but she seems not concentrating and that’s the reason she still doesn’t know her colors or #s. If not she mixes up the colors,etc I’m worried and don’t know what to do. If I try correcting her she gets mad. I need some good advice. Also in school she does that.
Hi Maritza, It is much easier for four year olds (and almost everyone else) to learn when they are having fun. If a child is resisting academic help from Mom or Dad then I recommend that parents have fun at home with their child and let the teachers fill in the educational gaps for now. If young people can concentrate on games they playing with other people then they often learn skills that will help them be less distracted with other tasks such as learning numbers and colors. Enjoy!
my 11 yr old daughther does have dysexica and is getting help in school but is not turning to classes or is not trying to do the work and is distacing most of her classes and answering teachers back with attitude. i have been called in to she her head of year and we have come up with some new ideas for alana in classes. ive asked for extra homework but just need some advice to see if there anything else i can do at home to help her.
Hi Donna, it sounds like you are doing a lot for your daughter and that it would also be good for you to spend some time with her that is relaxed and fun. At the end of that time you could also listen to her talk about what school is like. 11 year olds are often feeling pressured by peers, hormonal changes and of course academic stress. It is often an age when parents need to increase their “quality time” with their pre-adolescent. It can help “calm” things down for everyone.