Dear Sharon,

We have two sons, 8 & 12. Our older son is a terrific soccer player and is slim and fit. Our youngest son is pudgy and overeats. He has the opposite personality and lacks activity. His favorite past time is reading, TV and video games and he snacks constantly. What should we do? I am very concerned about him, his health and his future.

Dear Parents,

As a mom of three sons I have learned that children can be very different even if they are siblings. It seems that your boys are no exception.

It is important for parents to view their children as unique individuals and to take plenty of time to praise each of their strengths while sorting through effective ways to assist them with their challenges.

Your younger son is not alone; many children today tend to drift towards sedentary activities that are unfortunately accompanied by excessive snacking.

When I have met with parents confronting similar issues I have suggested they keep in mind the following ideas.

Read the rest of “One Athletic Son, One Lethargic Son; What is a Parent to do?” »

Dear Sharon,

I want my kids to be healthy and I am determined to beat the “peer and social pressure” of eating processed foods. Can you advise a parent like me how I can convince my children to follow our good eating program, (not boring but fresh and real food)? A parent of my son’s friend told my son that we were “depriving” our kids of trips to McDonalds etc., which really annoyed me.

Dear Parent,

Confusing messages about food are everywhere. Many people including Michelle Obama are trying to change some of these messages but change often comes more slowly than we would like.

Generally I think it is important for a parent to be as clear as possible about what they think should happen in their home. As our environment is full of processed food that many people eat and that taste good to most children our little ones often get upset with our dietary requests.

Parents set guidelines and limits on many issues.

Read the rest of “Peer Pressure and Healthy Eating” »

Dear Sharon,

Our son is not normal. I don’t want to go into details, but we’ve realized for some time that he has “special issues”. My question is not about him, it’s about us. We are overwhelmed and depressed and to say “disappointed” is to understate the reaction we’ve had to the discovery that our child is not what we were hoping for or expecting. My husband and I are trying to navigate the difficult road of special everything for our boy and we’re not doing badly, but it’s how it’s affecting my own state of mind, our marriage and our other child that worries me terribly. The added stress is enormous and I feel myself sinking into despair. Can you give me any advice as to how I can cope better with the burdens, decisions, and responsibilities that I am now finding suffocating?

Dear Mom,

Juggling the needs of a child with special needs can be overwhelming and discouraging to any parent. Thank you for being so honest about what it has been like for you.

Here are some ideas that might help.

The loneliness of being a parent with a special needs child can be one of the hardest aspects of the job. Many organizations that provide or coordinate services for children with special needs also have parent groups that meet regularly. I hold two such groups at Parents Helping Parents but there are other places to find meetings as well. For example, the central branch of the Brooklyn Public Library runs regular workshops for parents of special needs children.

Groups such as these can offer Moms and Dads an opportunity to learn that they are not alone with their stress, questions and concerns. Groups can also provide an excellent way to get emotional support and practical advise from experienced parents.

If you cannot find an in person group that meets your needs then the internet can offer on line support. www.comeunity.com is one possible source for this kind of information.

Read the rest of “Special Needs Children and Stress for Mom and Dad” »