Dear Sharon,

With the holidays here our children are naturally expecting the usual gifts and probably even more than last year. Any ideas for how we can cut back on some of the gift giving without making them feel deprived or worried about things.

Dear Parents,

Most parents (including myself) love giving gifts to their children. The joy of seeing a child light up when they open a cherished present is an age-old reward of parenting. Sometimes I even think the thrill for the parent is deeper and more long lasting than it is for the child.

In a world where parents are over worked and time is precious Mom and or Dad can also get much needed practical help from well thought out holiday gifts. A new engrossing toy that happily and safely engages a child can help a parent have more time to tackle the seemingly limitless tasks they need to get done.

Unfortunately this year many parents might have to tell their children that they will not be buying the fancy gadget that they “really, really need” (I suggest doing so sooner rather than later as disappointments can grow large when the holidays arrive.) Most children get upset when they are told no and that moment will not be easy for many parents. I suggest that Mom or Dad takes a deep breath, remembers the countless children who grow up to be healthy, confident, caring adults without the benefit of material wealth and appreciates what a good job they are doing. With those thoughts and the love for their child in their minds they can put their arm around their little ones and figure out a way to communicate that it is fine not to get everything they want.

Read the rest of “Thinking About the Holidays in Challenging Economic Times” »

Dear Sharon,

Healthy eating is very important to us and our kids are comfortable with our priority for that. However, our 9-year-old son hangs out a lot with a friend whose parents have a different way of operating apparently. When he’s with them, they give him all kinds of junk to eat and he says he feels uncomfortable turning it down. He’s afraid to be rude and of course to be “different.” I want him to say “no” and feel very strongly about this. It’s my right as his parent to make sure that he stays healthy. I don’t want him eating mass produced jelly donuts with gobs of icing on them as snacks. How can I handle this??? Help!

Dear Parent,

Families often have different parenting styles. Approaches to discipline, bedtimes, entertainment, and of course eating habits can vary widely.

It is often challenging for children, even those older than your son, to negotiate adult expectations and personal beliefs. In fact there have been times when I have had a hard time being graceful when friends have warmly offered me some food that was on my “off-limits” list. This has most often happened in relationship to sweet food – still a common way for people show care and hospitality.

I often suggest that parents help negotiate familial differences by maintaining strong lines of communication with any adults who have contact with their child. This is especially true when a child is spending a lot of time with one particular friend. When parents in separate families have an open and honest relationship there are often ways (although not always easy ones) to talk through differences, reach compromises or simply agree to respect each other wishes when hosting each other’s child. Good talks between parents can result in agreement on dietary guidelines and many other important issues.

Read the rest of “Healthy Eating Away from Home” »

Dear Sharon,

We want to start the school year off right and have tried to set a schedule for our kids to do their homework that will keep them up to date, and that will keep them away from cell phones and television. However, we now find that we are unable to control the computer and their Facebook and My Space interactions which have turned out to be more distracting than the others. What do we do? Do you know how we can control this? We are computer fools next to our children and haven’t a clue as to how to get a handle on this. They are using computers for research and for typing papers, and they are also visiting these sights and we are unable to stop them.

Dear Parents,

Helping a child juggle their social life and the demands of school is an age-old problem for parents. The internet is making this dilemma even more complicated. I have known many “computer fool” parents who have figured it out but it has usually taken some time and effort. Here are some thoughts that might prove helpful.

Read the rest of “Managing Homework, My Space and Facebook” »