When I was in my early 20’s I went through a phase when I was very angry at my parents. They had made some upsetting mistakes in my direction and I decided to temporarily stop talking to them. I was successfully living on my own, had a “good enough” job, plenty of friends and was pretty sure “I knew what I was doing!”

Looking back, I of course was making mistakes and needing some adult counsel.

My Mom, a very proud Irish woman, had never visited me where I lived at that time but had my address and phone number.

One day she called me up to say that she was coming over. Although she lived in another part of the state and had a complicated journey she succeeded in finding the right address and walking up the five flights to my small studio apartment. Mom came in, sat in my most uncomfortable chair, and looked out the window with a classic proud Mom expression on her face. Neither of us said very much, maybe a few words other than hi. She left after a half an hour.

I didn’t let he know but I was glad to see her. We began speaking regularly again after that. We never discussed the visit but it had been a necessary and excellent idea.

I believe all parental efforts, however unique or awkward, make a difference to their children.